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I just moved into a new home...

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I just moved into a new home and found the place inhabited by roaches. How can I get them to move on?
Answer
There are a couple of methods you can try. One is to create your own homemade roach motel. You’ll need to gather the following: a glass jar, two Popsicle sticks or tongue depressors, a banana slice, and some Crisco or Vaseline. Place the banana slice inside the jar and stand it upright. Smear the Crisco or Vaseline around the lip of the jar, coating it well. Now place the sticks so they lean up against the jar — you’re creating a sort of ramp for the roaches. Set it out overnight. The roaches that crawl into the jar won’t be able to crawl out because of the grease. Now put the lid on the jar and leave it there until the roaches suffocate. Then dump the roaches and scald the jar for another try. You can also try soaking a rag in beer and leaving it in a shallow dish overnight near where you’ve seen roaches. The next morning, you’ll have a bunch of (we’re not kidding here) drunk but still breathing roaches to dispose of. Keep this up until no more roaches appear in your β€œdrunk tank.”