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There are no set meanings for different flowers; meanings differ widely, not only from gardener to gardener but from family to family, culture to culture, and historical period to another. The most important guideline for choosing your flower would for me be, "What has this flower meant to me? Or to my grandmother?" For me, flowers expressive of innocent gratitude between close female family members might include pansies aka violas ("pansy" comes from French pensée, "thought"); daisies (including single or double chrysanthemums), lavender (cleansing), rosemary ("remembrance"), and single-flowered roses rather than the double t-roses form. I don't know if any of that helps. (Did your grandmother prefer a particular perfume? What flower might spring from, or be suggested by, that?

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